The Amazin' Spidey-Man...4?

No, it's not Spider-Man 4. It's Spider-Man 1 Reloaded. Whatever. I'm not even going to delete that.

In true Hollywood fashion, let's start over.

The Amazing Spider-Man is a reboot of a series of successful films from the early 2000's. Why this series of films needed a reboot, you ask? Of course you would wonder why, and of course I will explain it in great detail.

When I get tired of my diatribe, I have a special exit strategy. Be very excited.

The Amazing Spider-Man needed a reboot for some very simple reasons.

1. Mechanical web-shooters.
2. Gwen Stacy.

Aside from the terrible chemistry that Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dunst had, these are really the only reasons. Gwen Stacy is Peter Parker's first girlfriend and his web-shooters are supposed to be mechanical. To satisfy all of the elitist fanboys out their(me), a new movie was required to fix these problems. That's it.

Oh, and the last movie with Venom and The Sandman was a joke that ruined any goodwill that the first two movies garnered...
...but enough about why we have a reboot and on to the reboot itself.

Since most of the origin of Spider-Man has already been seen on the silver screen, we can't help but compare the two portrayals. I think both films(Spidey 1 and Amazing) did a swell job of telling the origin of our friendly neighborhood goofball. I enjoyed this version just as much as the original, except I liked Andrew Garfield way more. Also, Emma Stone gave us a great Gwen.

As much as the protagonists improved, we all know that the villains make or break the story. Rhys Ifans gave us a pretty good Dr. Curt Conners. I would dare to say that it's almost on par with Willem Defoe as Norman Osborn. Almost. The only few things I didn't like were in regards to how The Lizard looked and sounded. I hated that he didn't have a snout. I disliked that his skin was more snakey, and less crocodiley. Although we saw some brief scenes in which he had the lab coat on in his lizard form, I wish he had it the entire time. I can deal with the shirt and pants missing. I just don't like the way that that it was attempted to try to keep him, well, still human.

On another note, I didn't like the way that Ifans' voice translated to Lizard speak. He sounds like Draco Malfoy in most scenes and instead of hearing him say "Parker", I heard "Potter". When he says "Poor Peter Parker. No mother. No Father. No Uncle.", I swear I thought I was watching Harry Potter.

In case you can't read the dialogue in this picture, The Lizard is saying "LIZARD TAKE MONKEY BRAIN. LIZARD NO LONGER DUMB. YOU ARE PREY.", to which Spidey replies "You're not as smart as you think you are."

Basically, from my understanding, when Conners transforms into The Lizard, for what he gains in physical strengths, he sacrifices intellectual strength and becomes no more than a somewhat cognizant animal. I realize that his master plan of infecting the entire city with lizarditis wouldn't have really been feasible if he wasn't still intelligent in his augmented state, but that's why The Lizard has never been a part of a larger group of villains.

In closing, I thought this movie was really enjoyable and I saw it twice. That's the second time this year I've seen a comic movie twice, and the last time I did that was for Iron Man.

While I think that it would be foolish to do a Sinister Six trilogy, I do look forward to more Spidey movies. I don't know how the filmmakers will manage to bring back The Green Goblin and Doc Ock, but only time will tell, I suppose. I give The Amazing Spider-Man two mechanical web-shooters up and one broken-necked Gwen Stacy to the left. Oh...I promised you an exit strategy. feast your eyes on the menacing Lizardcycle!

X-Statix Omnibus

My wife is awesome and gifted to me the X-Statix Omnibus for our fourth wedding anniversary. I just wanted to thank her profusely for this. My only complaint is that it didn't come with a forklift.

This thing measures at an oversized 7.25" wide, 11" tall and an absurd 2.5" thick.  Its page count clocks in at 1200, which is almost 500 pages longer than any Deathly Hallow I've ever seen, and weighs in at a meaty 8.2 pounds. I dropped it on one of my fingers and have yet to regain feeling in said extremity. I think we're going to have to amputate. I word to the people likely to read the introduction written by Mike Allred; it has spoilers. Not that I think the people shelling out the cash for this thing haven't read the full series in single issue format, but people die and it's all right there in the foreword. I haven't read one page of any of the books contained in the omnibus, so it's all new to me.

The price tag may scare some people, but I think it's well worth it. It's all of the related X-Force/X-Statix/Tie-In materials in one volume. It stands alone as a complete work. Peter Milligan is a masterful scribe, and Mike and Laura Allred are the perfect artistic team for this work. Not to mention that when when the Allreds take the day off, their seats are filled by none other than Darwyn Cooke. This hefty tome is an encyclopedia of stylistic pulp comics. It is really a tribute to the way comics looked in their prime, mixed with the way comics are written in the modern day.

For those not familiar with exactly what this story is about, it's basically a team of mutants that takes the name of the clandestine team X-Force and is sponsored by a producer of a reality show about mutant superheroes that stars the team. It's all from the point of view, literally, of a floating green blob named Doop who speaks in an alien tongue and carries the teams recording equipment in his belly.

Since this is a television show with ratings and such, when people get bored of certain characters, like any other TV dramas, those characters are killed off, except this is a reality show, so the living characters actually die. It's interesting and this was written before I had seen any other fiction that functioned as a commentary for reality television. I know Battle Royale was a similar idea and predates this, but it's not ripping it off the way that Hunger Games has been accused of.

The retail price of this beast is at a steep $125.00, but I think it's well worth that price. Discount Comic Book Service has it for a mere $75.00, and my wife got it from Barnes & Noble's website for $65.00. For those prices it's thievery. I give the X-Statix Omnibus two enthusiastic Gin Genies up.